"Who are you?"

I received a message on my mobile “Feel I am not capable of taking any responsibility and shouldn't get insulted because failed to fulfill that responsibility.”

Don’t know how we are? After we do something, we think I did that”. After we win we think “I won that”. After finishing our responsibility we think “I took that responsibility” and when we lose we always think “I lost it”. There’s always an “I” before anything. Why I did something doesn’t matter; who arranged the race which I won, really doesn’t make any sense; who gave that responsibility which I finished, is meaningless, what matters more is “it was me who made it”. I did something because someone asked me to do that; I won the race because one had faith who asked me to participate in the race; someone trusted me and gave me the responsibility and so I made that possible. But no, “if everything was done by others then was I just source which was utilized to complete something and that means the worth of mine is less”. Everyone is in the race to come in the top or look above everyone. I know there is no end of this race and may be one wins all the races but will fail in one and that is “definite”. What do you call this? That is “Ego”. “I” means ego. If you remove “I” then there is no “ego”.

Ask this question to yourself “Who are you?” take some time and try to get answer. Everyone has one or more answers of this question. Close your eyes and ask this question within yourself “Who am I?” I did that and I asked myself “Who are you Vishal?” I kept my eyes closed and asked this question many times and every time I asked this, I had some new answers. You too will get some answers and the answers will “You will know your name”, you will know where you work or study or anything you are doing in current, you will get some answers like “I am his son or daughter” “I am dad or husband or wife or sister or brother” and there will be many more answers. You may get some answers like “I won” or “I failed”, may be “I am one who did something” or “I am the one who couldn’t do anything”. Every time you ask this question to yourself, you will get some new answers. Practice it because that will make you realize “Who you are?”

Give sometime to yourself, every time you ask this question to yourself that “Who you are?” Make your brain think and go deep inside you, let that go in deep thought, deeper and more deeper. Every time you do that you will remember some new faces or some new acts you did in the past. In every answer, it will not be you only there will always be one or more person whom you remember before you get an answer, which your identity is not just because of you, it’s because of someone else. And this truth may not be acceptable but that is a truth.

My name is “Vishal” because someone calls me with that name and someone gave me that name, it was never me who named me “Vishal”. I am brother because there are sisters and brothers I have. I am a friend because there are others who are there as my friend. I am colleague because there is someone else’ company where I work, and there are people along with whom I work. If I am running a business then I am a businessman because there are people as customer.

It simply means, whatever I am it is because there is one or more around me. If they are not there then I might lose my existence. I exist because there are people between whom I am. My existence is because they exist.

I think I am able to convey my message to my friend that “it was never you who took that responsibility, it was someone else who gave that responsibility. It was never you who did something for one instead it was one who trusted you that you will do this for him. It was never you who got respect, it was someone who gave you respect and in the same, if

you are insulted if someone insults you, if one not then you are never got insulted.”

“Your value is not because of you, your value is because one gives you value.”



(Vishal Singh)

The True Happiness...

It has been many months or more than a year, when I am searching for happiness. It doesn’t I never smiled, I never laughed and I never entertained my life but all these happiness was for that moment only. I travelled many places, spent many hours with friends, tried many new things but I failed to get achieve what I wanted. Sometime I ask myself, ‘is this me only in search of happiness or there are many?’; and sometime I ask ‘if the happiness really exists in the world or it is just a word in the dictionary’. I don’t but my search didn’t end and didn’t take me anywhere. I am still there where I was; at least this is what I feel. But it doesn’t mean in this period of time I never get happiness, Yes I did. I had great time travelling many places, many people and doing many new things. The happiness I felt was different and unique. There are many facts which I was able to understand by doing all this for the year. It was amazing, it was awesome. But there is another fact behind this and that is, this all was for a while may be that lasted for few days or weeks but again sitting alone in my room I search for happiness, ‘the true happiness’.

In this period of time, I met many people with different profession, different age groups, different places and different mind sets and tried to understand if it is me only or there are others suffering for this disease. May be for you it is life but I don’t see people who are deeply intended to understand the truth of ‘true happiness’; or may be there are more like me. Let me share you few things here basically the people. I met a rickshaw puller, we had a tea together at a shop. First I tried to know about him and then I asked him, ‘how you manage these things?’ he has 3 kids and his wife who also works as a maid. Kids are of age group 10, 12 and 13. Finally I asked him “tum khush rahte ho (are you happy)?” he replied “bilkul saahab. Biwi bachche sab saath hain. Hum dono miya biwi din bhar kaam karte hain fir raat ko sab saath rahte hain. Sab theek hai sab, ekdum khush hain sab. Jo kam jada hai wahi bahut hai. (Yes sir. I am happy with my wife and kids. We husband and wife work in day time and then in the night we spend good time together. May be less or more but we are happy with whatever we have)” and a grin on his face I cannot forget. And when I was leaving that shop he called me up “saaheb chai ke paise to de do (sir please pay for the tea)” I laughed a loud and paid for the tea.

Recently, again in my journey with friends we stopped our car in a small village. In 2-3 minutes of time many kids gathered around us, just after seeing that one stopped there in their village. Though this village was on the highway, they used to see many cars and vehicles on the road but no one stopped there ever. Those kids were so happy, their smile was priceless. They were in torn clothes or there were many patches on that. But they were happy, they were happy more than me, I guess more than anyone of us. I spent few priceless minutes with them. Their faces are still in my memory, it didn’t get erase. I enjoyed my trip but I wasn’t happy.

I tried a lot to understand, ‘What exactly makes me happy?’ ‘Why there is a smile on my face sometime?’ and ‘why it all get disappear, like I never smiled and I was never been happy?’, ‘Why it happens?’ and every time I try to get answer of these questions, every time I find myself with another “Why?”

Sometime I feel like I am a fool looking for the answers of these questions, may be I am. Happiness indeed is indescribable but the feeling of happiness has definition and has physical appearance. It’s not just a smile on ones face it is more than anything in the world. Laughing a loud doesn’t stay for long. Ask yourself when you laughed a loud last time? If you get an answer you are really a happy person but if not then you also you will get answer of some questions. I know life can’t stop at just one smile or laugh, it is life which keeps running and happiness is just part of this life.

Having fun with friends when I come back to my room I forget everything and again start searching for happiness which I really don’t know if that really exists. I try to understand how that rickshaw puller is happy, how those kids are happy however they are unable to fulfill their basic need. Yes, they do have food and clothes and a shelter but nothing else and on the other end it’s me who has more than they have but I am less happy than them. What I got to know after experimenting many things is “a place, a person and any thing cannot make you happy; they don’t entertain you, it’s you who entertain yourself not these places or people or any materialistic things.” “Happiness lies in you. This is not in the outer world, it is inside you.” And I am trying to search and trying to understand how I can keep myself happy, not by the places, not by the people and not by any other materialistic thing but just being with me. I don’t want to be in the audience watching a Joker to keep myself happy, asking my friends to gather to entertain me instead I want to be happy just being with myself. I want to get the happiness which is inside me, which is not a just a smile, a laugh but is the ‘true happiness’.


To be continued…


(Copy right © Vishal Singh)

"Human" that does most/every "inhuman" act...

I remember few years back, when I was in a hotel and I found holy Bible in the drawer of my hotel room. I cannot say if it was complete Bible but may be it has extract of holy Bible. People know that, I am not that spiritual guy so it took time to bring it out of drawer and read it, and try to understand the meaning of the book ‘holy Bible’. But, as my stay there was long so it happened one day. You can also say that, it took time to kill the devil inside me and that was the first day I dared to touch that holy book, I think I didn’t want to desecrate it by touching it. Let me tell you, I am not the guy, who brings pair of eggs everyday and fries them in the pan and describes him as a vegetarian because those eggs are farmed, may be those hens eat soil and fertilizer to grow these eggs inside them. It may sound funny but for your kind information it is just not funny. I may not be the guy who follows his heart but yes I listen to my heart for sure and follow my brain.

Anyways, I brought the book out and dared to flip to first page. It took hardly few seconds to start reading first chapter of it. Don’t know, but I want to share few things out of it, what I read in few page. It was described there, “God first didn’t create human, instead God first created trees, flowers, fruits, birds, other beautiful creatures and then God created human, God’s best creature on the planet earth. God created other creatures on the planet earth because God wanted his best creature to come to the earth when every need of a human is already there. Every other creature were created to make human feel good, feel happy, and get pleased by every of them. But even then God found his best creature incomplete and created a girl, who later became mother of every human. I don’t think I need to describe the meaning of “mother”. May be, God wanted to have someone who can care his best creature in his absence and that is why God created ‘a girl’. There was a lot more but for a person like me, it was enough, may be God just had this small plan for me or may be not. God knows!

Next morning, when I woke-up I came out of my room and wanted to see God’s every creature what God created for his best creature ‘human’. I saw many green trees, some flowers in the reception area. Also, I saw some beautiful faces of God’s best creature ‘human’. I looked in the sky and waited for few minutes but didn’t see any bird. They might have already been fried in the pan with ‘Safola oil’ as Sofola oil helps is more safe for heart diseases or problems, and also, none of any birds are tagged with ‘Injurious to Health’ but I can assure you when those birds would be flying over our houses they must have read this ‘Injurious to Health’ many times. Don’t know how those creatures whom God created for his best creature ‘human’ for being with them but we are using them for very different purpose. God must be thinking or may be cursing him why he created these other creature if they are going to be punished for their innocence. I remember the days when I was a kid and every morning I could see birds in the group flying to get food and returning home in the evening, after their tiring routine for the day. But I remember the counts were always getting off by few in the evening, may be God’s best creature fulfilled his dream, his desire and his empty stomach. Don’t know if ‘human’ does this to show their ownership on this planet Earth. Don’t know…

What has been left my God’s best creature which they did not use just for their selfishness, instead of having Goat’s best milk they thought of having the whole goat. Cows in the Hindu religion are treated same as of mother but rest of the animals are nothing, neither brother, sister nor the friend, so they all fill their stomach. They are used to fill stomach of them, wow what a relationship they have built. They haven’t left anything; snake, frog, goat, cow, buffalo, sheep, pig, dog etc etc, I can’t even name them and I can’t even count them. How funny it is, if one abuses our brother, sister, mother, father or any loved one we fight till the end, but we forget of everything when it comes to our taste, our pleasure; we forget that what is served in our plates, may not call name of any relation but they do have heart, they do have lungs, they do breath, they do cry, they feel pain, they do bleed, they bleed till they are served in your plates; who likes to have stale food, everyone want the fresh one. If your kid gets sick, you try to do everything but you don’t even think before killing one’s kid; that really great, you are a real father or mother. And when your kids get well, you celebrate it by killing one innocent, one innocent kid. How selfish you have been? And you kill that just for your taste, I can’t even imagine. Ask yourself, have you ever tried to do anything for those innocent creature, instead you fill your stomach by them. You feel pain when get cuts in finger or when doctor injects in your body but you don’t even think of those animals which are served in your plates; they have chopped brutally, but they couldn’t call their mom, dad or anyone. They bleed, they cry; sorry I can’t even explain that. If you kill an animal, you do it to keep balance in the nature and if one kills or hurts your kid, it is inhuman. And being a human you have right to do every ‘inhuman’ act. May god forgive you all. The pain our mothers have felt when giving birth to us, the same pain those animals feel, the way our mother cared us, they do cared and cried for their kids when they are lost. The way our mother loved us, same way those animals love their babies but the only difference is, we understand the language of our kid but not of those. You took milk of that babies share, you took everything out of it and if still couldn’t fulfill your desire, you slaughtered that into pieces, the neck first I guess and then other parts of body and asked a sophisticated waiter to serve that into your plates.

You take egg, chicken, meat, beef etc etc for your better taste, then what is wrong if these animals lion, tigers, leopards find better taste in your blood. What’s the difference between you and them? Ultimately you both are doing this for your taste. I can suggest you for one thing, you can also have blood soups instead of tomato or else, ultimately that animal has already been killed for you, so why not make your bones more strong, and make your muscles filled with more blood. I remember when I saw a brutal accident of a young guy, that died on the spot. I could saw blood and blood and his lungs, and bones coming out of his body. I just thought of, if his bones are fried well and cooked well with lots of spices and served in the plate, you might feel the same taste; ultimately what matters more to you, is a ‘leg piece’; what else?

Ask yourself when you go to buy chicken, meat, beef or else, how they would have cried loudly, how they would have bled and you might not killed that with your hands, but you are the only reason of this inhuman, illegal, unethical killing of other innocent animals, whom God created for you to be with them not to feed your stomach with them. And if your desire doesn’t get fulfilled, go to a slaughter house and see, how this food get prepared for you. Before you ask for a leg piece, before you have it in your mouth and before you know how it smells and tastes, go and watch this in any slaughter house, meat shops or chicken shops. I have also added a video here, which you can see how this food get prepared for you. Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_55Vdu95lo&has_verified=1

I’ll request you all to join hands and stop killing of these innocent animals, which are brutally killed just for your taste. God has created so many things for your, for your better health and better life. God created these other livings before you not to get slaughtered for you but to be with you and around your. Otherwise you should also be ready to get slaughtered in natural disasters like earthquake, tsunamis, fire, flood etc.

I really wonder and God must be wondering also, how God’s best creature ‘human’ does most ‘inhuman’ acts.

Please join me in this campaign and share this with your family, relatives, friends or anyone; this may not change everyone but that may change one. God bless you all…

(Image sources are oaks.nvg.org and historyofjihad.org)

Copy right © Vishal Singh

The God...

“God” this word gives more relaxation than anything, even in our worst days and this is the world which scares every human being. Does this word require an existence and descrption? God is unseen and unheard but that exists. If I say we can’t even feel God and even we cannot prove God’s existence but our faith and believe becomes stronger onto God.

God has many names but it is our believe by which name we call the “God” because he really doesn’t have a name that is why everyone calls “God” with a different name. If “God” would have a name, people would not have given many names to “God”. The good thing is, one can call “God” with any name and that depends upon that persons feeling and thoughts about “God”. One who did a sin, feels like “God” forgives anyone; one who is selfless feels like may be no one is there but ‘God’ is there; one who is aimless feels like ‘God’ will do everything. There are so many such examples which I can give here. That gives happiness more than anything but when I see or listen to people fighting on the name of “God”, I feel like why “God” really doesn’t have a name at least people should not be fighting on the name of “God”. That may give me a bit of relief but I know, if one has to fight will fight may be for a piece of land, may be on the name of language, color, look, dress or anything because they want fight and they search for reason, however there is no reason but they search for it. The word “Racism” is basically defined by such people only.

If I ask you “What is God” or “Who is God”, I don’t think one has answer of these questions. Let me ask you one more thing, if we really don’t have answers of these questions then for what, we go to ‘temples’, ‘churches’, ‘mosques’ or any other place. And at these places “Why do we pray?” and “What do we pray?”. I have one question to those who believes that ““God” really helps and listen to one’s plea”; did anyone ever hear this news “God” came and helped a person; the unseen and unheard “God”. If not then who really helps and listens to one request. Ask yourself, whenever you needed who helped you, “was that God” or anyone else. I am sure your answer will be ‘a person’; ‘a person’ who is just a normal human being but not “God”. Even we know this truth but we still go to ‘temples’ or ‘churches’ or ‘mosques’ to request or plea there. We do everything to please God, to make God happy and to get recognition from unseen and unheard “God”. The way the God is unheard and unseen; the God can’t even see you and listen to you. It’s a person only who can do this, then why do we try to please those sculptures instead of a person, why do we first ask “God” to help us and then a person. Why God is first and a person is second? Why?

I’ll say ‘a person’ should always be first because if you request him he will help you; if you please him, he will smile; if you ask him something he will answer you; if you abuse or hurt him he will feel pain and may be in the next morning you find the same person out side your doors to help you out, when you are in need. Even if you are a strong believer in temples and you believe that “God” is there watching you doing everything, I would say ‘God didn’t only see you pleasing him but he also sees you ignoring, abusing, hurting, not seeing and not listening to the people whom you met in your journey from your home to that temple’. You ignored one who just needed rupees ten not thousands, you ignored a half naked women who need a dhoti of rupees hundred but not a gold coin, you ignored a kid who didn’t have food for days not the fruits which you were taking for the ‘unseen’ and ‘unheard’ god, and still you believe that “God” will be happy to see you. Do you think God is a fool or an innocent baby who doesn’t understand all this?

I’ll be more than happy if I reach empty handed to the temple and serving every person with whatever I had because ‘a person is first and god is second’, ‘a person is before my religion, my cast, my color, my dress and a person is before my faith and belief’ and that is because I know “ONLY A PERSON IS INCOMPLETE BUT NOT THE GOD”.

“God is not the name of religion instead God is the name ‘One’ as people from different culture, religion, cast, color get dissolved in ‘One’ that is GOD”.


Copy Right © Vishal Singh

I am not defined I am abstract...

I have seen tears, in my fearless eyes,
And sometime they are dry even in deep pain,

I have seen a smile on my face,
Even if there is no reason.
And sometime a dread silence on the face,
Which scares me as well.

Sometime, I feel so alone,
Even when, I am surrounded by many.
And sometime, I like to be being alone,
Because, I do not like to loose my true identity.
I am not the one, who is between the people.
I am the one, whom even I don't know.

Sometime, I cry for one's love,
Wish if one could be there for me.
Though, I know this is love only,
Which leaves everyone crying.

Sometime, the word "orphan" doesn't let me sleep.
But next morning,
I start planning for my comfort and luxury,
Don't know, how to kill the devil inside me?

Sometime, I sleep empty stomach,
To feel the hunger one lives with,
And sometime I ask for better taste.

Sometime, I search for myself,
Though I know, nothing lasts forever.

I am like myself,
and sometime unlike too.
Don't know if I am one,
Or there are many resembles to me.
I am known to others,
But, with an unknown Identity.
Don't know who am I?
There are many, who are mine,
But, don't know if I am their.

I am not defined, I am abstract....



Copy right © Vishal Singh

Certainty in Uncertain Life...

Like every other ordinary man, I live my life in the same manner as they do. Always put alarm in the mobile and fortunately it always rings but every morning the first thing what I do is, ‘put the alarm off’ obviously fell asleep again, I have been practicing it for many years. I am like you, like him, like them and like every other person. Always running late to reach office; rarely, I take my breakfast at home but yeah I wrap that in the foil and most of the time leave it there in the kitchen only, surprisingly. Guess, what I do in my office everyday? Like every other person, always try to put the work behind and start executing my personal plans; I think, office is the best place where we can really execute our personal plan. Who gets time at home? There are so many things to do; yes all nonsense things I’m talking about; Ahh… please don’t mind it. But yeah, I do spend my time in office mentally and physically as well. Guess what? I had heard of this word when I was kid, even all my ages but where I learned of doing that, its again, one and only ‘my work place’, ‘my office’; I learned here doing ‘back biting’. The good thing of doing this is ‘you don’t need courage to do this’, isn’t it? None of any animal has this ability or capability of doing this ‘the most entertaining’ and ‘the most adventurous job’. May be people take it in the other way but let me tell you one thing, by doing ‘back biting’ we live our freedom most, I guess. You know what, you can say anything which just comes in your ‘mind’; I precisely call it ‘really very creative act’; I have met many master of it, who does it so brilliantly and with full of perfection. Sometimes, I feel like, if Osho Rajneesh would have been alive, he would have given his philosophy on “From back-biting to Super-consciousness”, poor guy, he lost that opportunity.

By living in the country like India, I have learned of doing one more thing ‘bargaining’. I think there cannot be any other country, where this term ‘bargaining’, have been used most efficiently. Since we took birth, we have always been doing ‘bargaining’. Bargaining for delivery charges, medical bills, first biscuit our mom put in our mouth and blah blah blah. We are real professional in this area and we use this practice at our work place everyday.

One lesson which we never learned is, ‘loyalty’. Like every other ordinary person, I have never been loyal to my workplace and I have never been loyal to my office. I’ll suggest never to do that because if one does, one dies (not really **smile**). But remember that, the one who wins the battle is the one who is loyal to his ‘work’.

Let me tell you clearly, being an ordinary man, you will die like that. People say, only ‘death is certain’ but I say ‘life is uncertain’ and that because we never understand meaning of our life, value of our life. The uncertainty is inside us, we do not have control on our emotions, thoughts and so our acts. ‘An uncertain act definitely results uncertain’.
God has gifted every human being to make things certain, out of this ‘uncertain life’ and before the ‘certain death’.


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Life & Life's Purpose...

In last few days there have been so many things happening around me. They all were related to our life and our “life’s purpose”. Have you ever asked this question to you? There are very few people who have ever asked this to themselves; and one who even asked this to himself or herself, they haven’t got an answer. Most of the people in this world don’t even know ‘what does life means?’ Remember this, life as a human being is the most precious thing which god has gifted to us. Life is not just our activities like breathing, watching things, walking, listening, reading or so; neither it belongs to fulfilling our wishes, dreams and desires; life doesn’t mean running behind our aim and getting success; neither our emotions like smiling, crying, enjoying etc etc can define life. So, you will definitely ask me “What does life means?” Life is not a chapter of a book, neither it is a book, nor it is an author who writes books but characters, characteristics of those characters, circumstances which influence those characteristics, emotions, relations, achievements, struggle, feelings, thoughts…if you put together, you can say this means “Life”.
Now, the next question which is more important than the definition of “Life”, what does life’s purpose? Life consists of all the things which can be defined in words and can be seen or felt by every other person. There cannot be one person who can define “what is life’s purpose”. It varies from person to person. I can name here different people whom the world can never forget and they all fulfilled their life’s purpose. Albert Einstein, Mother Teresa, Neil Armstrong, Thomas Elva Edison, Socrates, Adolf Hitler and there are so many names whom we can’t even count and they all had different purposes and they were those who were really able to fulfill their life’s purpose. Many people say “Happiness”, “Peace of Mind”, “Satisfaction”, “Success” are our life’s purpose but how that can be? Do we really have control on these things? Can we always be happy, even if one dies in front of us? How can we get peace of mind, if we have so many responsibilities to fulfill? Can there be a person who is satisfied? only death can give an ultimate satisfaction to a person. And success, “success” is just like another day of our life which comes after every 12hrs time. Then how these things can be our life’s purpose?
Just read out the names I have mentioned and try to find out the similarities in them. Read that again and again. Let me tell you, all the names which I have mentioned here have done things just not for themselves; they have done things, for the world, for the society, for the people. May be they have just given a message to this world “There cannot be any thing IMPOSSIBLE in this world because everything is possible if one tries”. Do you think this lesson is not enough to do something for this world? In my view it matters more than anything.
I have a story to tell you here. I don’t remember the date or year but it was two or three years back in state of Andhra Pradesh, villagers have gone into the jungle for wood and one by mistake gone in deep forest and he saw a wooden hut covered by some leaves to protect from rain. When he was just trying to take wood from that hut because he thought its just a waste and it would be better to take the wood to home. An old man suddenly asked him:
Old Man: This is a very big jungle and you found only this hut to collect wood, there are so many trees, which you can take, then why you are breaking my hut.
The person stunned… he asked to that old man ”Is this your hut?”
Old man: “Yes”
Villager: “From how long you have been here?”
Old man: “Its more than 30 years”
The villager couldn’t believe this.
Villager: “What you are doing here in this jungle?”
Old Man: “Living my life like you are living yours.” The old man gave a big smile.
The conversation went long and lastly the villager left that place.
And very next morning, it was big surprise for that Old Man…let me tell you he was an ascetic. There was a big crowd out there. They all had brought so many things clothes, food, money to donate etc etc for him. After seeing all these things the old man said “I think, now this place is not worth living for me.” People wondered “Why so?” the old man replied “all these things which you have brought here for me, I really don’t need them. You should take these things to those who really need this, I am not the person who need this.” And after three months that old man left that place forever because that place was really not worth living for him. Hope you all have understood what I wanted to say. Do the things for those who really need that not for those who don’t need that.
Let me ask you one question, suppose there is a guy who have been identified as HIV +ve, nobody knows how long his life is, so what you would suggest to that person to do to fulfill his life’s purpose and what should be his life’s purpose? Just think of that. In my view he should be going door to door and letting everyone know to avoid any such thing which can cause this death before the person really dies. This way he may be able to save at least one life or may be more. But by running behind the success, happiness, satisfaction he will not achieve anything, just nothing.
May be it doesn’t sound good to you but I can ensure you “Happiness”, “Peace of Mind”, “Satisfaction”, “Success” cannot be anyone’s life’s purpose. And if you really want to know what’s your life’s purpose then you first need to come out of “I”, “me”, “my” and “mine” because if you have any of these then you can never achieve your life’s purpose, and you can never understand what does it meant for.


Copy right © Vishal Singh

Tu jo saath nahi....

Tu Khush Rahe...

Copy Right © Vishal Singh

Past + Present + Furute = Life (Part II)

If you have not read my Part I of this thread please read that first.


You might not have heard about a mosque in Ujjain in state of Madhya Pradesh in India, which doesn’t have a base and is basically famous for its strong structure. The mosque was built by Mughal in 16th century. That mosque is built without having a base and known as “Bina Neev ki Masjid”. You may find sculpture of that not the mosque now. You must be thinking that, why I am talking about this here. Like everyone says, our past is our base on which our present or future is dependent. Now, tell me that. “Wasn’t there any present or future of that mosque? Was that architect of that mosque, a fool who constructed that?” No. a day we live, becomes our past from present and everyday we add a brick to build our life like the architect who builds buildings. It’s all about we, how we construct, how we design, what shape we give to our life. There are so many examples, which I can give you here, whose life suddenly turned from a disaster to an example. Remember Kalidasa, who was famous for his foolishness, but the day he realized about him, it changed his life. He became greatest poet of Sanskrit Language. Think of that “how a fool can become an example”.



Tulsidas, a great poet and the author of “Ramacharitamanasa”, whose life got changed from disaster to an example. Let me tell you the story: ‘Tulsidas was passionately attached to his wife. He could not bear even a day’s separation from her. One day his wife went to her father’s house without informing her husband. Tulsidas stealthily went to see her at night at his father-in-law’s house. This produced a sense of shame in Buddhimati, his wife. She said to Tulsidas, "My body is but a network of flesh and bones. If you would develop for Lord Rama even half the love that you have for my filthy body, you would certainly cross the ocean of Samsara and attain immortality and eternal bliss". These words pierced the heart of Tulsidas like an arrow. And those few words changed his entire life.



There are so many examples I can give you here. I am giving these examples to tell you that, if your past has not been good it doesn’t mean you should stop doing extreme things, you can and you should. Again I am saying that there are so many examples I can give you here. Let’s take another example. You might not have heard the name of German Philosopher Eckhart Tolle, who didn’t even attended school, who did not have any primary education. Whatever he studied, he studied at home only. You might not believe that he has “suicidal depression” for almost ten years and he also tried to commit suicide many times but “one night” changed his life. In his words “I couldn’t live with myself any longer. And in this, a question arose without an answer: who is the ‘I’ that cannot live with the self? What is the self? I felt drawn into a void. I didn’t know at the time that, what really happened was the mind-made self, with its heaviness, its problems, that lives between the unsatisfying past and the fearful future, collapsed. It dissolved. The next morning I woke up and everything was so peaceful. The peace was there because there was no self. Just a sense of presence or ‘being-ness’ just observing and watching”.



All these examples which I am giving here is just to tell you that, everyday which you are living or is in yours words “future” will become your past one day but don’t just let your present go out of your hands, don’t just let your present go like your passed day, don’t just let your present become a regretful past. Think of that architect who has been asked to built mosque without a base; think of Kalidasa and Tulisdaas, what changed their life; think of Ekhart Tolle who wanted to commit suicide and now is a teacher who teaches everyone ‘what does life means?’ What was that, which changed the old concepts of architecting, what changed a common person to a great author or writers, and what changed a person from committing suicide to become a teacher and a teacher who teaches the lesson of “Life”? There was no miracle happened with them, which changed their life, the only thing happened is, they realized “What they are? What they can do? What is life? And what is their life’s purpose?” They didn’t even think of their past, they just started living in their present and they lived every second of it. “They stopped counting of seconds they lived; they started counting of lives they lived in every second.” They learned lessons from their past and they made sure that they will not do any single mistake now, and that changed their entire life. But yes, mistakes are bound to happen, but those mistakes were another lesson to learn from and that made them from a common person to an example to the world, I must call it “An Example of Life”. I’ll again say “Do not hesitate to do mistakes, do not worry of doing mistakes and do not have fear of doing mistakes because you will do mistakes if starting “doing”, you can only avoid mistakes when you stop doing things”. Think of that architect who built the mosque, if he would have had fear, he wouldn’t have build that ‘architectural example’; if he would have a fear that the building may collapse, he wouldn’t have started that but he only had one thing in his mind “he will do it”, “he will make it” and “he will create a new example for sure”.



Like these architects or constructers who design or build huge building, we design or shape and construct our life. They use different building materials to build a building, and so we; we use our confidence, determination, willingness, experiences and past lessons and we construct our life. Don’t be unhappy with whatever you have, or whatever you not have because you still have your life to change the things, to change your life. And remember that, we cannot do things in future, we can only do things in our present, just start living your present and doing things to change yourself, to change your life, to make yourself better, although it doesn’t has an end because it only ends with you, with your life.



To be continued…





Copy Right © Vishal Singh

Past + Present + Future = Life

It might sound weird but that’s a fact. Correct me if I am wrong…

Past:- Don’t know why, people always regret their past? I have seen many people living their life fullest, but whenever we ask about the days passed, they always share their bad experiences, may be there are only two or three bad experiences rest of his/her life have been fantastic but even then you will always get to listen about bad experiences. I could never understand this why? I must write here a big “WHY?” I think we human being has a very sort memory for storing good experiences but we have big storage of bad experiences and worst part is that, those bad experiences doesn’t get time to recall.

In my point of view, our past was our real teacher. The teacher who taught lessons of life, the teacher who made us a person like whatever we are right now, the teacher took us up to here where we are right now. But we always regret our past. Books might have taught us lesson about science, math, history etc etc… but tell me that “who taught us lesson about what is right and what is wrong; what is good or what is bad; difference between human and inhuman behaviors and so many things?” Was that our schools? Was that our books? No, we saw things happening around us and we learned so many lessons from our surrounding without attending any class or lecture, but still we regret our past. Why?

We might have done mistakes but remember the words of great scientist Thomas Edition who failed around 10,000 times in his experiment of ‘light’ but he succeeded one day; “My thousands of experiments taught what should not I do, and in other words they taught me what should I do next.” Remember about Abraham Lincoln who failed in business at the age of 21; was defeated in a legislative race at age 22; failed again in business at age 24; overcame the death of his sweetheart at age 26; had a nervous breakdown at age 27; lost a congressional race at age 34; lost a senatorial race at age 45; failed in an effort to become vice-president at age 47; lost a senatorial race at age 49; and was elected president of the United States at age 52. (Abraham Lincoln’s data is taking from book “You can win” by Shiv Khera)

“Mistakes”, again they are our teachers. Every living on this planet earth is born to do mistakes but one should not repeat the same because one who repeats its mistake is basically a fool or a definite looser. Ask yourself “Did you ever do a mistake intentionally or it just happened unknowingly?” Never regret your mistake because that mistake only turned your life into whatever it is right now. I must say this here “Ghar me andhera roshani band karne se nahi hota, ghar me andhera aankhein band karne se hota ha, aankhein bad kar lo tho din me damakta sooraj bhi andhere me doob jaye (switching off lights doesn’t create darkness, instead closing your eyes is the real source or reason)”

Present:- We only do things which we learned from our past. We too try new things but that turns into some new mistakes, may be not always but it does happen. We actually act on things, words, feeling, thoughts, imaginations… in present. And in present “we do things or I can say whatever things we do is basically our Present.”

Future:- Don’t know, I might not have answer for this word “Future”. Neither it’s our imagination nor the real truth because no one knows what will happen next. It’s very unpredictable, may be once or twice we can predict it but that doesn’t happen always. Somewhere, I find that, the philosophy written in Bhagavad Geeta is related to this also; “Karm kiye ja par fal ki chinta mat kar (Acting, or doing one's duties in life as per his/her dharma, or duty, without concern of results)”

Don’t know, if I am right or wrong but what I feel is somewhere I find that “Karma (Acting or Doing)” is our present and “Fal (results)” is our future. Remember this, its not we who will get the results of what we are doing right now but definitely the results will come and someone will get that for sure, it may not be the same person who did that, that can be anyone else but the result is definite.

Ask this to yourself “whatever you are doing is that for yourself only. Don’t you think of others, may be your loved ones?” May be one is selfish but at the same time he/he is selfless because he/she knows that whatever he/she is doing will result into. We all know, may be not everyone but most of us have a bank account and that is “Saving bank account”, what is that for? We are in job and we are paid for that, and so we are earning and this ‘earning’ is our present and keeping that in to “saving bank account” is our future. Now these days, this saving bank account has changed into ‘insurance policies’. Don’t you have a policy? If yes, then for what and for whom? Is that for yourself only?

Life, yes life is like a gardener, who ploughed his field, put seeds, fertilizers and water; that was all our past, now that seed is changed into a plant and we are nourishing that and keeping that safe, not for ourselves because if I would have been thinking of myself only, I would rather have preferred to buy fruits from market, I would not have preferred to put such a effort to get the fruits but we still do that; we do that for our future. Yes you heard that right “our future” not of “my future”. See, the history has this evidence that if the feeling of “my future” has come into one’s mind, he/she have always been disastrous for human being. Adolph Hitler, Nepolian Bonaparte, Paul Adams, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden are the examples who think of “my future”.


To be continued to Part II


Copy Right © Vishal Singh

Let me dream...

Dreams,
Don’t know, if they really have their own existence.
Or they are like sand hills on golden desert,
That changes its place every morning,
Or they loose their existence
In the midnight’s sand storm.

Don’t know,
About those fearless eyes,
Who dream for no reasons,
But they dream.
And they dream for everything,
Which is beyond their hands,
And beyond their reality.
Like the stars,
Who doesn’t loose their brightness,
No matters, if that day or night,
Its our poor eyes,
Who can’t see them,
But they remain there, always.

No one can define the boundaries,
Neither can create walls.
One don’t need eyes,
One don’t need sight.
Just wish for,
And can see them in real.
“Real” in unreal world.
But yes there’s a truth,
A reality in the real world.
An unwanted satisfaction,
And non desired happiness.

Let me laugh,
Let me smile,
Let me live,
And let me dream.
Like the sun rise,
And the sun sets.
And anything can change in between this.
The real world can turn into,
An unreal world, and vise-versa.

So again, let me laugh,
Let me smile,
Let me live,
And let me dream.


Copy right © Vishal Singh

A silent walk towards the death...

Millions and billions of people,
Every human being,
Is running in the race,
No matters, how rich one is,
And how poor the one, standing with him.
No matters, if one is able and complete
Or one, running the same race,
Just having two hands and without legs.

One is having eyes but not the sight,
One who is blind, running day and night.
Every millionaire and billionaire,
They all are in the race.
Every good and bad,
The intelligent and the dumb,
The clever and the innocent,
The emperor and the empire,
One before the death,
And one who is unborn,
Knowingly or unknowingly,
But they all are in the race,
Either they will for,
Or not they wish for.
They all know,
They will be winner one day,
And that’s for sure.

But before you win,
Just loose the race of completeness,
Race for greed and ego,
The race for pride and wisdom.
Nothing will be yours.
Neither you for yours.
Nothing will last forever.
Except the ashes.
Don’t just burn like fire,
The fire doesn’t remain,
Only the ashes do.
Like your footprints behind,
To follow the same,
And keep you in the marathon,
Forever.

They all are in the marathon.
"A silent walk towards the death."



Copyright © 2010 Vishal Singh

A man gaurding dead...

An english version of my previous post "Main shamshaan ghaat ka marghat"....



I am the man between the bodies,
Dead bodies I mean.

Graveyard,
I am not buried inside;
It is my place where I live in.

Everyday lots of people,
Come to my place.
But not to meet me,
Not to see me.
They just come to leave one there,
One, who is dead.

They all know me,
Not by face,
Not by name.
But yes, they all know me.
Neither, one asked my name.
Never, am I.

They don’t ask me ‘how I am?’
And I can’t ask them ‘how they are?’

People say that, “death is unheard and unseen.”
May be they cannot.
But I see death everyday.
Not the one, who is in deep sleep.
But the one who can’t even close his eyes.
Dying every second, every moment.
He doesn’t close his eyes,
Because he wants to see his son’s face till sets fire on his son’s pyre.

When son sets fire on father’s pyre,
It burns in a while.
But when father sets fire on son’s pyre,
It burns and burns.
It takes time to burn,
All his hope,
All his dreams,
All the happiness and that is for forever.

Death is unheard and unseen.
But aftermath of that death,
One cannot leave that unheard,
And one cannot leave that unseen.

Before I get into sleep,
I see people screaming.
And when I open my eyes,
I see tears in eyes,
A kid crying for his mom,
Crying for his dad.
And he himself set them in fire.
Asking everyone to bring his mom back.
Asking everyone to bring his dad back.
Nothing leaves behind,
Except the ashes,
Which tells the story, what all have been burned.
How many became dead with him or her.
They couldn’t get burned,
But they were burned before they burned him dead.

I participate in everyone’s cremation,
Knowingly or unknowingly.
Heart-full or heart-less,
But I participate in everyone’s cremation.

They all come and leave my place.
They live this bitter truth, may be for while.
But I live this truth everyday.
They all count 'who is dead',
But I count 'who is alive',
Because I know, they will come again, may be last time,
But everyday my count gets off by one,
I forget to count myself.
Everyday, I count myself in dead .
Don’t know,
If I am really dead.
They all are alive because they are not dead.
But I am not dead because I am alive.



-Copyright © Vishal Singh

मैं शमशान घाट का मरघट

मैं शमशान घाट का मरघट


धीमे पाँव मौत आती है,
उसके बाद की चीखें, मेरे कानो को रौंद जाती हैं
न बंद होती शिस्कियाँ, मेरी आँखों को भी भिगोती हैं
लकिन ये रोये भी तो किसके लिए,
सब ओर बस लाशें ही तो हैं


लकड़ी की कीमत, सब पूछते,
कोई हाल नहीं पूछता,
मैं भी मरने वाले का नाम नहीं पूछता


हर रोज देखता हूँ, जलते शरीर को,
बाप को देखा, बेटे को जलाते,
बेटा बाप को जलाये, तो लकड़ी कम लगती है,
बाप बेटे को जलाये, तो आग बहुत देर तक जलती है


सफ़ेद चादर में, नवेली दुल्हन के जोड़े को जलते देखा है,
मासूम बच्चे को, खुद को अनाथ करते देखा है
उसके हर सवाल पर, सबको बेहाल होते देखा है

वो थो बस थोड़ी सी राख, कलश में भर लेते,
और मैं उस पूरी राख को देखता,
फिर एक और लाश, और उसकी बची राख

एक दिन घर वापस आया,
पत्नी ने पूछा - "खाना खाया?"
हमने कहा "हाँ"
वो बोली - "लकिन दाल में थो नमक ही नहीं था?"
हमने कहा -
"वहाँ सिर्फ लाशें नहीं जलती,
कितने ही घर जलते हैं रोज
लपटों में एक मुर्दा, और उसके साथ कई जिन्दा लोगों को जलते देखता हूँ मैं
बच्चो को चीखते देखते हूँ - 'मेरे मान को मत जलाओ, मेरे पापा को मत जलाओ' "
"तुम दाल का स्वाद पूछती हो,
मुझे थो नमक का ही स्वाद नहीं पता "

राम नाम सत्य है,
एक लोकप्रिय गीत नहीं मेरे लिए,
लोग एक दिन उस सच को जीते हैं,
और मैं हर रोज, उस सच को जीता हूँ

हर रोज लाशो को गिनता हूँ,
और हर रोज, एक लाश कम पण जाती है
हर रोज ही, खुद को गिनना भूल जाता हूँ,
मैं जिन्दा हूँ, मगर हमेशा लाशों में गिना जाता हूँ

मैं शमशान घाट का मरघट
मैं शमशान घाट का मरघट

-© copy right Vishal Singh

Deadly desire...

Bare footed on the bare desert.
Running forward to the silent sand-storm
Which can take my breath in the clean dust.
Yes, I always before my end.

Leaving footprints,
A sign of my unfulfilled desires.
A disastrous me and my unintended attempts.
Was taking me closer to the end.
The burning instinct of fulfillment,
Was the last thing, I asked for.
And I died before my death.
And was burned on the pyre of my instinct.


-© copy right Vishal Singh

A twinkling star...

A twinkling star,
In the dawn of dust,
Like a gardener in the sky,
And see, the gardener,
And the blooming flowers,
Twinkling stars.
One and One more.
See, there’s a lot.
And the gardener.
With blooming flowers,
With millions of stars.
And the dark night.
A smile on the face,
An old sick lady,
On her death bed,
To make her smile,
And let her live the life fullest,
Before she dies.


-© copy right Vishal Singh

A short story...

I wrote this story just three days back... It's a short story and will be here in four parts. Here it starts...

From my unborn identity to the age of now, I have seen things changing so fast. I have seen how people have become a deserted land, I have seen the changes in suspicious modernity, I have seen changes in “disgusted” culture, I have seen how before transplanting artificial body parts how everyone has become an artificial disease for himself/herself or for the society of human beings. But yes, that was a flip side of the whole story. A comfort life, a feel of freedom, an unwanted belief of my conscious mind are also the part of changes. Even I am also an example of the changed world.
May be we are of short term or long term memory but yes there are days or things or places which are there in our mind at an unallocated memory space. A different, a different place where I met so many humans of my kind who were just in this world with unintentional will. Yes, I am talking about first day in any school. Lots of kids with an unintentional will. And when they got together they created a different world. But they had to grow and they grown with and intension, with a will.
Mr Ramraaj Vaiskhi, a seventy year old person, who has lived his life with whatever he wanted, whatever will he had, whatever wish he wanted fulfill. A well known person, with overt thought, born in an unmanaged world but he managed everything in his life, a man with principles which is an unobvious example, residing with his wife Vaiskhi Ramraaj in Nirala Nagar, Raebareli district of Uttar Pradesh, an area known for people with wealth only, I think so. No one tried ever to look at that area with any other perspective and so I am too. You may laugh by reading the names; it was a proposal from Ramraaj after two years of their marriage. But why so? Vaiskhi’s father was a palmist and it was him who suggested to change name of Mr. Ramraaj. So, Mr. Ramraaj put a proposal to Vaiskhi to change their names. Isn't this romantic ….hmmmmm.
You can see a photo album of both of them and guess how romantic Mr. Ramraaj was. Though all the photos are black and white but on their faces there are colored expression and true emotions…not to pose just for photo the word “pose” wasn’t at that time in the English dictionary, I guess. That album was one of valuable assets of Mr. Ramraaj. And that house at Nirala Nagar that was ancestral, sometime we should go into depth of people known as wealthy.
Mr Ramraaj was a school teacher of Mathematics at Government Intermediate College. He has published few books of mathematics of 10th or 12th standards. Also, the books used in Governement School published by Government of Uttar Pradesh, Mr. Ramraaj is one of the authors. It has been around thirty two years for him being in Government Intermediate College and residing at his ancestral home, after completing his training for teaching and his first placement at Government Intermediate College, Pilibheet (The district comes under Uttarakhand now). He is well known in the society as well as in the district and because of his published books he is known in the state of Uttar Pradesh.
Like every plus has a minus, in this story as well there’s a minus. Mr. Ramraaj and Vaiskhi didn’t have a kid. It was after three years of their marriage when Vaisakhi was pregnant but after four months of her pregnancy she started feeling a continues pain in her stomach. After a long treatment when doctor couldn’t do their best they suggested remove uterus to save her life. There was a tumor in the uterus and there was no option to do any surgery because she was pregnant. They both bore that pain together. Behind every smile there always is a piece of sorrow or pain. When a baby is born, the first thing that does is ‘cry’ but that cry gives a smile to everyone. I think then only we learned how to smile; ask a woman who bears that pain to give birth to a baby and the cry of that baby gives her s big smile and a long awaited relief.
Mr. Ramraaj got retired from his job at sixty two. That’s age limit for any government job in state of Uttar Pradesh. After his retirement, Mr. Ramraaj has started taking tuitions at his home only. There was big queue of the students who wanted take tuition from him. Teaching was Mr. Ramraaj’s passion, interest, hobby and only activity of the day. The fee for his classes was too less. As tuition is a new business for most of the unemployed educated youngsters. Earlier people were used to dream of becoming a doctor or engineer but now running a school or tuition is one of the dreams of so many youngsters. Isn’t it funny? May be not . There’s nothing bad in this. I always ask why these tuitions? I guess it’s a wrong question .

One Sunday, someone in the very morning knocked his door. Vaiskhi opened the door. Ramraaj was taking bath.
“Hello”
“Hello” Vaiskhi replied. There were two, one lady and one true gentleman. Both were of mid fourties.
“Yes” Vaiskhi wondered to see them because no one has knocked her doors for so many years. May be it sounds strange but facts are facts only.
“Mam, I am Vishwajeet and she is Minakshi. She is principal of SJS College and I am vice principal of the same.” The gentleman explained.
“OK” Vaiskhi was confused. I think. She might has forgotten how to deal with that. She has also forgotten when one has knocked her doors last time.
“Actually we are here to meet Ramraaj Sir”.
“Ok” that was nothing new for Vaiskhi.
Vaiskhi called them in and asked them to sit on sofa.
“Actually, he is taking bath. And then he will do pooja (prayer) and after that only he will be here.” Mr. Ramraaj’s daily routine was on Vaiskhi’s lips. Why not, if she too used to live with him the same life.
“What will you take, tea or anything else?” In India, tea is the most common thing which is offered in any family or any house or home . I think that’s the best thing one can offer to his/her guests. Even Pepsico and Coca Cola also jumped into selling tea at stalls .
“Just a cup of tea” Well said…I think Vishwajeet guessed that right “anything else” simply means “nothing”.
Vaiskhi left the room. Minakshi and Vishwajeet were sitting on the sofa and looking here and there…while there was nothing in the room except a calendar.
It took around twenty minutes for Mr. Ramraaj to get ready. At the other side Vishwajeet and Minakshi were over with their tea and were just waiting for Mr. Ramraaj.
“Sorry for making you wait.” A man in white kurta and paizama (an Indian ethnic dress) entered in the room. They greeted each other.
“Vaiskhi told me that you are from SJS College, so tell me…” He stopped…anyone could understand, there must be some purpose behind Vishwajeet and Minakshi’s visit…In last thirty five years…no one just came…neither to greet him on his wedding anniversary or his birthday. So, why should Mr. Ramraaj do any formality?
“Actually Sir, we were planning to meet you for a long time. But it couldn’t happen.” Vishwajeet started the conversation or the intension why he was there.
Mr. Ramraaj, didn’t even looked at Vishwajeet but yes he was listening to him. He knew that they are at his home with some purpose only...I think one expectation!!!. If they weren’t in need they wouldn’t have come, that was sure. Ultimately they are businessmen.
“Sir, we got to know that you are retired now and you take tuitions. We are here to request you to please join our college. But not on our conditions, on your conditions only” Vishwajeet said that straight.
“So you want me to work as a teacher?” Mr Ramraaj asked him straight too.
“Hmmmmmmmmm…No. We request you to join our college on your conditions that means if you really wish to take classes you can and at whatever time. This is our responsibility to manage everything. Now, money matters. I know sir, you don’t take tuition for money, so that is up to you only.” Vishwajeet said that all whatever he wanted to.
“Your school is a business for you. Give me time. If I join your college then there will be a fixed timing. You are in management but I know how to manage things. I will be taking classes of 10th, 11th and 12th only and that is on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday from morning 9:00AM to 11:30AM” His quick reply really have shocked everyone. But I think he knew that for what intention Vishwajeet and Minakshi were there. He just had to take a decision.
“Now money matters. Tell me the figure.” He was really so straight.
“Sir, actually it’s all up to you.” Vishwjeet replied.
“You are a businessman but I am not, you must have a figure in your mind.”
“Sir, we really don’t have any idea.” Vishwajeet really didn’t have any guess that Mr. Ramraaj will agree so quick.
“Ok, I’ll join on Monday. You can go now, my students are waiting.” Don’t know if he is so rude or so cool or so understanding….fuhhhh I really don’t know.
He joined that college. He had a great respect in the college. Every teacher was amazed to know this news.
Being a principal of the college, Minakshi announced that in the school that “Mr. Ramraaj, a well know mathematics teacher, will be taking classes of 10th, 11th and 12th standards. Your classes may be rescheduled according to his timings and we expect all of you to well behave in his class. Hope you understand what I mean. You are blessed to attend his classes. All the best to you.” I think Mr. Ramraaj to needs that ‘All the best…’. Sorry, it’s my personal view.
Sometimes, I ask myself what these schools and colleges means. Are they a study center or just for business? Are these managed by management or the teachers are managed by students. I think there is a management but only time tells when teachers are managed my students and vise versa. God knows…..
On the very first day at SJS, Mr. Ramraaj was busy with formalities of the college and meeting fellow teachers, no matters if he really wanted to meet them or not. Minakshi introduced him with every staff of that college; all the faculties, accounts, admin, library and rest of the staff. He was just expressionless like they were alive but were dead. Might the expressions on their faces changing but how does that matter. A fake smile and fake expression, I think that’s the world today, people themselves don’t know why they are smiling…it’s really funny but there is no fun in that. One thing I must say here, all the staff were very-very obliged to their principal…hmmm…may be not; or may be they are obliged to that school…hmmmm…I think no…they were only obliged to himself and piece of papers with print of Mr Gandhi’s pictures…I mean…Indian currency. Why shouldn’t be they obliged to Indian currency….they must…and every of us should also…ultimately that’s is the currency of our country.
From the next day only, he started taking his classes. Every student used to give an amazed look at him…they may be thinking ‘Who is this old man, keeping shirt out of his trousers and always holding a book in his hand’. It really seems weird, at least in any private school or college. The look does matter to them. It doesn’t mean knowledge doesn’t matters to them…may be sometime it doesn’t.
I have seen in Government Schools in India most of the teachers used come by their bicycles but dare any private school teacher can come on bicycle. If they don’t own a two wheeler or motor bikes they have to take man-puller rickshaw…doesn’t matter if everyday they used to fight with that rickshaw-wala for wages…ok… leave that.

14th November, 2007; it has been almost five years for Mr. Ramraaj teaching at SJS. Every year he used to see some new faces at SJS, not only of students but of teachers too. You must have understood what I mean? Sometime teachers leave school because they get better amount and sometime school says ‘NO’ to teachers because they have got a new teacher on less salary…Don’t know what kind of industry it is? Mr. Ramraaj never attended any festival nor any program at college. He never ever got into the staff room. The only place where he liked to sit other than his classes was library. But he never issued a book from library. Quite surprising!! Isn’t it? But he used to sit there.
It was 10:30 morning, Mr. Ramraaj returned back to home…like always, doors were open. He didn’t even call Vaiskhi; went to his room and lied down *****chair**** looking at the roof of the room.
Viaskhi, heard the sound of doors but she was sure of that, it must be her husband only.
“Do you want tea?” Vaiskhi asked from another room.
“No” Mr. Ramraaj didn’t say anything except this ‘No’.
There are moments which have no emotion and no expression, even they just don’t need anything to say or share anything; it’s sadness I think. People don’t get words to express that. Like for a kin, his/her every wish, demand, need, love care, thirst and hunger or may be more…the only way to express that is to cry. I think better to ask a doctor, not me, if I am correct or not?
He opened his cupboard and brought out some papers. On his very first day at SJS, he was given lots of legal documents, including document describing his job at SJS, terms and conditions. And a legal document describing Corporal Punishment, which describe types of punishments can not be given to a student, and if on does, a legal action can be taken against that teacher; that simply says that if you punish a student for any reason you will be punished; all the freedoms are of just student but a teacher doesn’t have any freedom. Don’t know if these laws are followed in government schools are not but private schools follow these laws strictly. I know you won’t ask me, ‘why so?’ But its me damn who will tell you why, it’s because how can one businessman dissatisfy his costumer. Aren’t these students a customer? Mr. Ramraaj had read that all documents and signed them and given back to registrar of SJS.
He was sitting idle, doing just nothing…what else you can expect from a seventy year old man? He was so quiet…the room was bearing that quietness, I could feel that. His body, his face, his eyes…everything was just quiet except his body parts that need to be functioning to make him alive. He was lost in deep thoughts. I won’t say that, ‘thoughts are an imaginary world, though those thoughts don’t have any physical existence’.
He remembered how one day Minakshi and Vishwajeet came to his home? How he joined SJS on his own terms and conditions? How he was introduced with the staff of SJS. How every student used to give him a weird look and teachers too? He remembered how one of the teacher flirting with a girl student in the college; don’t know what kind of lesson he was teaching, but whatever was that the girl was learning…”The Lesson” don’t know what lesson.
All of sudden, Mr Ramraaj himself broke down the silence of that room and the silence of his heart, like one was having sound sleep and was in sweet dreams and suddenly someone killed him, though that’s in dream only. That was the last thing which he remembered or he could remember.
“Who is that?” Mr. Ramraaj was taking his class and suddenly one boy student shouted loudly.
“Sorry Sir” the guy stood up.
“Get out of the class”
“Sorry Sir”
“I said, get out of my class”
“Sir, what I did? My cell was in vibration mode and suddenly it vibrated, I thought its some lizard or something”
“Did I ask you for any explanation? Please get out of my class.”
“What Sir, this is not my mistake and what will be wrong if I stay in the class?” Nothing else one can expect from a student…who has got every freedom…even he has right to use that freedom.
Mr Ramraaj, left that class immediately and went straight to Minakshi.
“I am sorry, but I can’t take classes from now.”
“What happened Mr. Ramraaj?” that was the first time when anyone in SJS called him by his name. May be Minakshi called him by his name to show the people sitting in her room that she is the one who governs that school.
The peon told the whole story to Minakshi (in her ears only).
“It’s just nothing Mr. Ramraaj. Student’s does mistake sometime. It’s just small thing.” For her it was really just nothing because she has seen even worst…I guess. If she didn’t have bore this all, she didn’t have got the power of being a Principal of SJS. (Sorry if I sound bad).
“You know, Mr. Ramraaj, his father is SSP of Raebareli and you have got opportunity to teach these students in this college” What the hell that lady was saying.
“I am not the vegetables or fruits which you sell at door to door. You might sell yourself but I can’t.” He said that right. And he left that college. No one said anything. Everyone (staff) just looked at him with an obliged kid of Madam Minakshi.
I think freedom doesn’t mean how to use that but freedom means how to misuse that. Minakshi didn’t say anything because she is paid for being quiet and all other staffs as well. And why should she bear one, who never ever wished her; never ever called her ‘maam’ to realize her that she is the boss; one who was another boss in the same college…’he was the boss of himself only’.
I remember, his speech in a staff meeting, where he has said “We are not teachers, we are just paid for teaching student. We have become a teacher not by our wish but because our wishes just couldn’t come true. But now if we have become teachers, we just remember that what are the responsibilities we have. Doing our job is not a desire, it is more than anything and we must not forget our personal life is dependent upon our professional life, so we should take our job personally not just professionally. Why personal? Because the day you leave this job you will loose everything, the respect, the money, the good going life and many more.” Everyone clapped, they clapped loudly but the truth they heard from him had hurt most of the hearts who always had felt great by doing every irresponsible thing, being a teacher. The truth wasn’t in the sound of claps, instead that was on everyone’s face except Mr. Ramraaj’s own.
I don’t blame anyone of this society or any place of this society. Schools or colleges has become a business now. Teachers are doing their job only. The only thing matters to them, is the money they get. Why shouldn’t they think of money? They should but yes they shouldn’t forget that they have been given a responsibility of making citizens of this country. Giving freedom to students is nowhere wrong but yes they must be taught of the values of that freedom, they must have taught what’s their responsibilities are; giving freedom doesn’t mean let one free to do anything but let him do better out of him. Everything has been mentioned in the act to explain the freedom, but they forgot to mention the lesson, which everyone should learn ‘why this law is made’.
Mr. Ramraaj was sitting alone…I think he was with himself at that time and when one is with himself he doesn’t need one to be there. The entire room had worn that quietness which was inside Mr. Ramraaj. He wanted to teach students but he had forgot that he is paid for just reading out the words and numbers written in the books but nothing else.
In the other room, his students were waiting (for tuition). Vaiskhi was still busy with her work. But it was long time when she heard of a sound from Mr. Ramraaj’s room. Vaiskhi heard some sound from student’s room and she was surprised, how could that be, if there is Mr. Ramraaj. She came to Mr. Ramraaj’s room. He was so stilled. His eyes were open but there was no movement in any part of body. There were papers in his hand. The only photo album of his marriage, was on the table. Vaiskhi touched his hands and she could only feel the coldness and the quietness of his loving, daring and caring husband.

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Facts About this story:
1. The character Mr. Ramraaj. His real name is Mr. Ramraaj Singh. He is 70, and was teacher at Government Intercollege, Raebareli.
2. Raebareli is constituency of Mrs. Sonia Gandhi, Party head of Nation Congress Party.
3. SJS College is still the best college of Raebareli (All the characters of this college are just an imagination)
4. You can read more about corporal punishment here http://www.legalservicesindia.com/articles/punish.htm
My Special Thanks:
Mandvi (MBA Student IBS Gurgaon), Devi Krishna (A journalist (as I know)), Amrita James (MBA Student IBS Gurgaon), Kewal (B. Tech Student from Delhi School of Engineering), Niraj (B. Tech Student from Delhi School of Engineering), Randheer and Tariq.

Don't know if I was able to convey my message by this story…I will really appreciate if you share your views with me. I shall be highly thankful to you…
Thanks.

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